To Find The Rightman Don't Waste Time With the Wrong Ones
Fri Mar 20 2009by Jennifer Pender-Brookes
Our modern world is a far cry from that of generations before us. Whereas 90% of our parents were married before the age of 25, today the majority defer marriage and children for travel and career. We live fast-paced and, for the most part, full lives: we work hard, we play hard, we pursue our interests. We are, for the most part, happy.
Yet for all our independence and wealth of choices, by the time we reach our thirties there is one thing that many of us are missing: a man. Not just any man, but a man that we are actually attracted to; a man that we actually 'want' to be with.
Hence the rise of online dating and singles events offering convenient and immediate access to a multitude of singles. Today there are so many dating businesses out there that a single person can narrow their search using any number of differentiates: age, religion, ethnicity, income, sexual preference. Anything a woman wants they can find. Or can they?
Certainly there are men and women who have found love online or at singles events, some have even gone on to marry. But when you consider that a whopping 4.5 million Australians visited a dating site or attended a singles event last year and a little over 4 million of those same people remain single today, it quickly becomes apparent that something is lacking. But what? If dating sites and singles events attract so many singles, why don't they spawn more successful long-term relationships? Let's look at it in detail.
The Five Pitfalls of Traditional Dating Sites
- The person doesn't always live up to the profile
- There are a lot of desperate and needy people
- There are some predators
- The online dating process is very methodical and pragmatic
- The 'romance' of dating is lost
Profile pictures cannot be trusted: some are twenty years out of date, some are blurred, some are not the person at all. Profiles cannot be verified. As a result, facts and figures can be omitted, embellished or completely fabricated. Fictitious masters degrees and exaggerated job positions are common, as are interests, hobbies and aspirations that often reflect who the profiled person would like to be or how they'd like to be seen rather than who they really are.
Not everyone who visits a dating site is desperate and needy. Many are genuine, well-rounded people who are simply using dating sites as another channel to meet new people. This is particularly true of the female users, who are largely attracted to dating sites out of curiosity. However, as any female who has tried online dating knows, plenty of men who frequent these sites are desperate and needy. In fact, a survey by Consumer Reports Webwatch of 100 women who used the three largest online dating sites in Australia for four weeks showed that 60 woman did not find a man they wanted to date, 40 went on dates with men that they rated "average" in attractiveness but thought "looked friendly and sounded nice" and 20 went on dates with men that they rated "above average" in attractiveness, but described as not "their normal type". Not one of the 100 woman went on a second date.
The largest dating sites do not typically attract the most perverted users who tend to prefer more sexually-explicit sites such as adult matchmaker or swingers sites. However, as identities cannot be properly verified, predators do lurk amongst genuine singles with genuine intentions on even the most recognised sites.
Internet dating feels much like shopping for a mate. It involves looking through a massive catalogue of people that you whittle down by typing keywords into search engines. It is such a sober, efficient approach to dating that even its terminology - browsing, surfing and box-ticking to ensure a correct match - is objective and unemotional.
Chemistry does not come into the equation. At least not the sort of chemistry that comes from chance encounters and loaded glances. All the qualities and idiosynchrocies that can be intuited when meeting in real life are absent. The tingly sensations, the sparks, are non-existent. First encounters online become catalogued in computer databases and quickly forgotten rather than committed to memory along with those first glances and smiles and touches.
The Five Pitfalls of Traditional Singles Events
- The attendees are desperate and needy
- There are more women then men
- The event is unoriginal
- The event is overpriced
- The attendees are mismatched
As with internet dating this is not always the case, but it is common. Again it comes down to the fact that the majority of singles events have no prerequisites and no way of verifying that attendees are the type of single people that other singles would like to meet.
A lot of event operators have picked up on this and now try to balance men and women with equal or close to equal ratios. However, this is not always the case. And many of the events that do aim for equal numbers end up recycling the same men for event after event in an attempt to counteract the imbalance.
Speed dating, desperate and dateless balls, 'meet and mingle' cocktail nights, eight at eight, six at six: there are numerous singles events to choose from but unfortunately the vast majority are slightly altered replicas of each other. Similar format, similar venues, similar people, similar results. A smooth and uneventful night for organisers; a sense of dejavu or, worse still, boredom and monotony for the attendees.
In the current economic climate, cash is king and not something people are willing to part with easily. For the most part discretionary income is limited, and then only to the things we put the highest value on. Certainly finding a partner is a high priority for many singles, and many are willing to spend money in the pursuit of love, but the expense must be justifiable. $79 for a watered-down cocktail, some cocktail onions and a dozen men that require twenty cocktails to look half-decent is not a justifiable expense. Neither is $50 for a speed date in a crowded bar with three minutes to talk to each man over the 'doof, doof' of techno music and the sympathetic or amused glances of other bar patrons.
Many singles events have no or very few pre-qualifiers for attendees. Therefore it is little wonder that they attract such a mix of characters. The over 50s and the under 30s, the perpetual singles, the widows, the thrice-divorced, the corporates, the creatives and the 'in-between jobs'. It may be true that opposites attract at times- the recent wedding of Kirsty Hinze is proof- but generally the strongest unions occur between people of similar age with similar outlooks.
How to Overcome the Pitfalls- The Rightman Solution
There may be some problems inherent to singles services but there is no need to avoid them altogether. In fact Rightman singles services may offer the solution. Unlike traditional dating services, Rightman discriminates.
- Rightman events are exclusive and strictly limited to only the most eligible men in Australia.
- Forget online profiles with fictitious degrees and photos that are twenty years out of date.
Forget singles events that are full of lonely recluses or men with inflated egos and less than sincere intentions. Rightman events 'stand apart' from traditional singles events such as speed dating and 'meet and mingles' by providing an extremely fun and novel avenue for eligible men to meet equally eligible women.
All men profiled on Rightman's website are hand-picked and independently verified by a select group of discerning females with a keen eye for what women want. The profiles are unbiased and written in the third person. The photos are real and current. The men are genuine.
Our modern world is a far cry from that of generations before us. It is a world of opportunity and choices, and this extends to modern dating. Online dating and singles services abound. Internet profiles are in the millions. The solution is not to avoid these avenues altogether, but to make the right choices. Don't limit your choices. Find websites that streamline them for you. Don't avoid singles events altogether. Be selective. Most people who are single beyond their thirties are single because they have standards. Simply look for singles services that have those same standards.
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